TCS Daily

The CIA/Zionist 'Plot'

By James D. Miller - April 16, 2003 12:00 AM

World affairs are being manipulated by a CIA/Zionist cabal. Evidence for it can be found in the fact that most people blame Islamo-fascists for 9/11. But you see, given the damage that 9/11 and other recent events have caused them, one could only believe Islamo-fascists responsible for 9/11 if you accept that they possess suicidal levels of stupidity.

After all, 9/11 destroyed the power bases of Osama, Saddam and Yasser, may soon result in an American-style government in Iraq, and increased America's military involvement in the world. Since all these outcomes were fairly predictable given that 9/11 has been blamed on Islamo-fascists, are we really to believe that our "enemies" are as idiotic as they appear?

Imagine going up to a powerful giant and hitting him. You strike hard enough to cause real pain, but not hard enough to debilitate. Obviously, you know the giant is going to come after you. Unless you're a complete loon, you've got some plan to protect yourself from the giant by at least proving to him that you have the capacity to strike again.

The Islamo-fascists knew we were much stronger than they were, and surely knew we would retaliate against a massive attack on our homeland. Perhaps they might have formulated a plan to strike America once and then strike again when America sought vengeance. Such a strategy might have scared America into isolation. America, however, has escaped terrorist attacks on her homeland even after freeing Afghanistan and Iraq from Islamo-fascism. Clearly, if Islamo-fascists attacked us on 9/11 they didn't have a well-thought out follow-up plan. Therefore, we could blame 9/11 on the Islamo-fascists only if we could somehow come to believe that they did it not for strategic advantage but rather for the joy of killing Americans.

The mind-bogglingly moronic military strategy of Saddam also confirms conspiracy. After all, Saddam didn't even manage to blow up his bridges to stop the liberating forces advancement. I suspect Saddam was kidnapped and replaced by a CIA/Zionist controlled clone. Remember, Saddam refused to give up his weapons of mass destruction even when he knew that such a refusal would cause the coalition of the willing to invade. Such a refusal might have made sense if he had a decent plan to use these weapons in his fight to keep Iraq. But to keep the weapons of mass destruction, thereby provoke a war, and then not use the weapons - well, this level of stupidity defies credulity and establishes CIA/Zionist involvement. Obviously, the Saddam clone was instructed to provoke a war that he would then fight ineptly thereby giving America a safe and "morally justified" victory.

The CIA/Zionist plot must also be controlling French foreign policy. The French are grateful to Americans for protecting their freedom in WWI, WWII and the Cold War. Without prodding by the sinister cabal the French would therefore never endanger U.S. solders lives in Iraq by pressuring Turkey to bar U.S. ground troops. Clearly the CIA/Zionist infiltrated the French Foreign Service to cause them to become virulently anti-American. The cabal wanted to provoke resentment on the American street to the French and the Security Council so President Bush would be politically free to ignore their pacifistic advice.

Examining the so-called motives for 9/11 proves that the CIA/Zionists rather than Osama were the perpetrators. Osama is from a rich Saudi family and the U.S. protected Saudi Arabia's sovereignty and wealth in the first Iraqi war. Saudis therefore have no desire to harm Americans. Furthermore, Osama is a Muslim and the U.S. has been a great friend to the Muslim world. We assisted in the liberation of Afghanistan from the godless communists and protected Muslims in the former Yugoslavia from their Christian foes. Also, since the Koran forbids suicide it's inconceivable that Osama would have induced fellow Muslims to kill themselves deliberately in airline crashes.

Finally, as we all know, Osama is devoted to the Palestinians. Prior to 9/11 the Palestinians were successfully using homicide bombing to pressure Israel. This strategy was working and the U.S. was asking the Israelis to make concessions to the Palestinians. Even the French were starting to turn against Israel. 9/11, however, obviously gave homicide bombers a rather bad name in America and since most Americans blamed the attack on Islamo-fascists, 9/11 hurt the Palestinians in their effort to gain international support. Are we really to believe that Osama would have sacrificed the interests of the Palestinians just for the pleasure of murdering Americans? Must be the CIA/Zionist plot.

James D. Miller writes The Game Theorist column for TCS and is the author of Game Theory at Work.

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