TCS Daily


TV Guide, Iraq

By Ralph Kinney Bennett - April 10, 2003 12:00 AM

We have obtained a copy of the postwar program schedule for Iraqi Television. Although we are not allowed to print it pending word from Coalition high command, we thought we'd share with you a few highlights from the coming season...

Jeopardy - An Iraqi tank crew sits somewhere in the desert in a T-72. They think they hear an airplane.

Home Shopping Network - Blowout bargains night. Items include the grand piano looted from the Sheraton Hotel in Basra and a "virtual giveaway" sale on Russian made GPS jammers.

Trading Spaces - Two Iraqis from different parts of Baghdad decorate each other's apartments with looted goods.

Archie's Bunker - A brash young Pfc from the 3rd Infantry Division decides to stay in Iraq and move into Saddam's presidential bunker.

Fashion Emergency - An Iraqi soldier is shedding his uniform. But what to wear? Arab fashion experts give advice.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? - Contestants must change into a new suit of clothes faster than an Iraqi soldier can change out of his military uniform.

Guys Gone Wild - Iraqi soldiers shed their uniforms to show it all.

Three's Company - Three businessmen, A Frenchman, a German and a Russian battle for contracts... and respect in Baghdad.

Fantasy Fights - In tonight's computerized simulation, Mohammed Ali faces off with "Chemical" Ali.

Journey to Planet Earth - Special guests, French President Jacques Chirac and former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf.

Jackass - Special guests, French President Jacques Chirac and former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf.

Girls Behaving Badly - Dixie Chicks give prison concert for Baath Party.

Junkyard Wars - Members of the Republican Guard are forced to beat the huge crossed swords of the Saddam arch into plowshares.

John Walsh Show - Hunt for Saddam Hussein continues.

Twilight Zone - The United Nations Security Council meets to discuss administration of postwar Iraq.

American Justice - 'Nuff said.
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