Articles by William S. Smith
National Enquirer-N.Y. Times Merger "Dead"
(SATIRENEWSSERVICE). American Media Corporation (AMC), publisher of The National Enquirer, today revealed that its Board had voted to terminate the company's agreement to acquire the New York Times. "Because of recent actions by the Times, we no longer believe...
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PEACE PRIZE COMMITTEE DISBANDS!
OSLO (SATIRENEWSERVICE) -- Responding to overwhelming pressure from every civilized person on earth with any semblance of intelligence, the Nobel Peace Prize Committee today announced that it had voted to terminate its charter. Just prior to the unanimous vote, the
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Psychiatric Association Releases Final Report on "Lee Bollinger's Disease"
(SATIRENEWSSERVICE) The World Psychiatric Association (WPA) today issued its long-awaited, massive study on Intelligentsia Derangement Disorder (IDD). Known popularly as Lee Bollinger's Disease, IDD is characterized by profound disruption in cognition involving th
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Ahmadinejad Seeks Asylum in U.S.!
NEW YORK (SatireNewsService) -- In a stunning development that has roiled the delicate Iranian-U.N. nuclear negotiations, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran has sought and been granted political asylum in the United States. Ahmadinejad's defection followed a wi
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Fantasy Island
SAINT HELENA, UK (SatireNewsService) -- Tyrants exiled to this rocky south Atlantic island do not simply retire with terrified members of their retinue and large portions of their vast, ill-gotten gains. Rather they enjoy their golden years by playing...
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Jimmy Carter Wins Fifth Hokum!
HOLLYWOOD (SatireNewsService) -- The Academy of World Political Humor Arts and Letters (AWPHAL) today awarded comedian Jimmy (James Earl) Carter the 2006 Hokum as the year's finest political comedian. Carter's record shattering fifth Hokum came against stiff compe
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The Angina Monologues
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (SATIRENEWSSERVICE) -- "How do we force women to wear burkhas? Torture their children if they don't! How do we clear a mine field in war? Promise thirteen year old boys they'll go to heaven if they get blown...
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Democrats Reorganize for Victory
WASHINGTON (SatireNewsService) -- Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CT), flanked by former Senator Zell Miller (D-GA), Senator John Kerry (D-MA), Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and other Democratic leaders announced today that the long awaited Democrat plan for victory in th
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UN Praises Israel for Restraint...
NEW YORK (SATIRENEWSSERVICE) -- Yesterday, the General Assembly of the United Nations voted 190 to 4 with one abstention in favor of an Egyptian and Jordanian sponsored resolution that commends Israel's "disproportionately restrained responses in opposing decades o
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Times Reveals Enigma Codes
WASHINGTON (SatireNewsService) -- Yesterday, September 11, 1943, the New York Times reported that allied cryptanalysts had been, for several years, decoding top-secret Axis war messages. The Times story revealed that thousands of code-breakers working in a suburb o
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